She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
