He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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