I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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