Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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