What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
