On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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