If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
