I hate all girls vehemently.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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