Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
