i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
