we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
