how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
