You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
