remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Randomize
