Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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