also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
