what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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