do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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