Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
