I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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