Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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