My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
