I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
