so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
