i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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