No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
