Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
