Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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