This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
