The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
