im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
