Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
