I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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