I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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