If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
