Me too!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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