Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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