Will you blow on my dice?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
