I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
