Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
