lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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