the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
