I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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