its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
