also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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