Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
