I am in a vortex of obligation.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
