i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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