Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
