He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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