i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
